Time spent at the orphanage

Many have asked if we seen the Sveta which we hosted last fall. We talked with her at the orphanage and she is doing great and happy. She was a little tenative at first to see us but hugged us both. I think we mentioned before that she has spent the past 7 summers in France with a great little family which we have had contact with over email and they love her. They have a daughter her age and younger son and her desire is to finish school in Ukraine and be a part of their lives and we hope it works out for her. Tanya and Laina were also hosted this past fall and they are great friends to each other and darling girls. It was so fun to see all these kids again.

This has been an interesting journey for Todd and I as we feel things have turned out as they needed to. There have been many things happen along the way that have put us in the position to adopt Alexa and truly feel it is meant to be this way. I had a lot of concern before we came as to what would happen but because of Todds peaceful nature and encouragement from our kids it has been a great experience. I feel so peaceful and a great love for Alexa and very happy to have her be a part of our family.

Laina, Sveta and Tanya

Main entry to sumy Orphanage

The kids were out of school at 2:00 everyday when the families were able to go spend time there. They loved playing outside games and others would join in. They are quite structured there with school hours, snack time, homework hours back in the classroom and free time throughout the evening.

All the boys having fun

We spent some time at the orphanage with the other families there. This is also where Alexa spent 8 years even though she has now graduated from there. These are some of the children that were hosted a year ago and being adopted. The orphanage is set up more as a boarding school and even though it was old, there were grounds for the kids to play on, an apple orchard, small garden and a small river close by. The kids have teachers that care for them and have worked with them for many years.

Neil and Carolyn Milne - Great room mates and friends.

Last Sunday Branch Meeting

This is our last Sunday at the little branch. There were changes with the missionaries too so it was fun getting to meet some new elders. Todd was asked to speak along with Neil Milne (our room mate) and Tanya translated for them. Tanya was amazing with her English after spending just one year as an exchange student in the states. They both did a great job and it was fun understanding the meeting :)

This is the Milne family who is adopting Austin and the Rogers family who are adopting brothers Artem and Sasha. We all hosted children together this past year and have gone thru this journey together along with several other families. Its been great making friends along the way as have spent some time together.

Kent and Ari Rogers, their 2 new boys and the wonderful translators

Natasha, Tanya and Natalie

What would we have done without great translators? The process there went as smooth as possible because of them. We became great friends along the way. With several families there all at the same time, they were able to take care of all of us and it was fun getting to know them. It was hard for me to say goodbye knowing I wasn't going back but Todd would be the one. I have always disliked saying final goodbyes....easier to avoid them so we tried keeping it casual. How lucky we are for emails and such. Natalie has seen many adoptions the past years and knows the system well. Tanya and Natasha were newly hired because of the number of families but they were all professional. Tanya was only 18 and Natasha 25.

Our friend Sergey

It was hard to find many who were very friendly that wanted to talk to you while we were there but this gentlemen was very different. He was actually the bus driver who took us all to the river for the baptism we attended. Not a member of the church but loved the missionaries. He was so great! There was something about Todd he liked as he would grab him and talk away in russian....as if Todd understood! Next thing we know he is dialing someone on his phone and would hand the phone to Todd to talk. It was his daughter that lived in Kiev that spoke some English and wanted her to practice so he called her a few times. Then he called his son that lived somewhere else. He was so funny and we loved talking with him....mainly listening to him speaking Russian very fast like we understood. He asked Todd to call his daughter again back in Kiev when he returned. It was good to see someone full of life there.

Alexa has become great friends with Tonya and Natasha

In the air......again :)

Todd is on his way to bring Alexa back. I am at home waiting anxiously. With mixed emotions we have both been home the past week. It has been so great to be back at home with our family and all the great things about America but was hard leaving Alexa there even for the 10 days. Everyone is so excited to get her here. We have really missed her this week and have called a few times. We can tell she is working on her English already and sounded so cute on the phone as we said how are you and she responded...fine, thank you. How many 16 year olds respond like that :) Todd left yesterday for the long journey back to finish up the process and I have to say I'm a little jealous. Not for the journey back but to beable to be apart of the final leg. He promised to keep us updated! I keep thinking about how hard this could be for her to leave all she has known for the past 16 years to start new. We know how great it is to live here but a little unkown for her and to live in a different culture, a new language, new friends and family could feel pretty scary at 16. We learned that in just the two weeks spent in Sumy :) She gave us each a big hug as we promised to return in a week. She understands the process well as she has seen several friends be adopted over the past couple of years. She really is a sweetheart. We seen more of her personality come alive as we played ping pong. She is the girls champion at her school and really showed it to Todd who is quite good at it too. All together we hope she adjusts quickly as she has a very sweet but quiet disposition and we are excited! I know our children will be such a blessing in her life as siblings as they have been so supportive as always. We are so lucky....Thanks kids!!! We have watched the other blogs of friends and are so looking forward to getting together again as everyone completes their journey.

Back on US soil

The last day in sumy together we had a nice meal together abd played some card games. It was great fun. There are 5 families that are working towards leaving with their adopted children over the next week to 10 days. It's been fun sharing this experience together!!

We left around 4:30 am Monday morning towards the airport in Kiev. It was another 4+ hour journey because we hit the city right around rush hour. We made our flight ok but it was delayed and late getting into JFK. As a result we missed our connection to SLC and had to take the next flight 4 hours later putting us home around 11 pm tonight. We're writing this message by our gate here at JFK. If the next flight leaves and arrives on time it will be a 28 hour journey home :)

Gravesite visits

We invited Alexa and her sister Ira (her half sister, same mother) to show us where their mother and grandmother were buried in Sumy. We wanted to learn more about their family and hopefully hear some memories they had about their parents or grandparents. Alexa's parents lost their rights about 8 years ago. Her mother died about 4 years ago and her father apparently died not long after that. They're really not sure about their father since he's not been in their lives for many years.

Alexa's grandmother was the only person that visited her in the orphanage and that stopped after she passed away 3 and a half years ago. Alexa's teachers at school told us that she was a sweet lady who often mentioned that she hoped Alexa would find a home and family one day. Her grandmother had a heart condition and did what she could for the 2 girls. Alexa and Ira both had very tender feelings towards their grandmother and spoke very kindly of her.

Adoption Update

We had our official court date in Sumy yesterday. There was a judge, 2 jury members, a prosecutor, the inspector (social worker), representative (Elene) from the technical college Alexa attends, Janet, Alexa, me, and Natalie, our interpreter. I was the only male in the room :)

The judge went through our complete dossier and read several pages about our qualifications. She asked Janet and I to stand up and answer a series of questions such as "why do we want to adopt?", "what is our house like?", "what is your income?", "tell us about your existing family", "will you be paying for her schooling at home?", etc. They make sure all of the documentation is in order and make sure the jurors agree with the court that we are fit and eligible to adopt. It's about a 45 minute process. They also asked Alexa (Vika) to stand up and explain why she wanted to be adopted and asked if she picked out her own name and wanted to be sure she was not being forced into any of this. She handled it all very well.

The decision of the court was positive so it's now official, her name will be Alexa Victoria Heiner :) There is now a mandatory 10 day waiting period before we can obtain her birth certificate, visa, passport etc. They make sure one final time that nobody wants to step forward and make claim on Vika. It's basically a formality.

Janet and I are planning to fly home on Monday during the 10 day wait. There's nothing more we can do here. I will return the following week towards the first of October to complete the process and bring Alexa home for good.

We are VERY excited!!

Feeding the missionaries

We invited the 4 local missionaries to our apartment this week for dinner. They are from Portland, Seattle, Boise and Armenia. We cooked up some good ole American macaroni and cheese, soup, watermelon, mashed potatoes (from Costco) and some birthday cake from Janet's birthday! It was fun for them to have a mostly-american meal and to speak in English for a little while. Their Russian language was quite good. It's a very tough language and typically takes 12-18 months before they become comfortable with speaking it.

Sumy Marketplace

Here are a few pictures from the Sumy outdoor market. There are hundreds of street vendors selling their goods in a very concentrated area of downtown. They set up for this 6 days a week taking Monday off. These 3 pictures are people selling dogs, live chickens and fresh fish. You can buy virtually anything you want like clothes, cleaning supplies, watches, books, flowers, cell phones, etc. There were thousands of people moving about the marketplace in a mass of humanity. It was truly an amazing place. Hundreds of merchants set up their stores for the day and then take the entire thing down around 3 pm for the day. They pack it up and cart it off somewhere to be stored and do it all over again around 8 am the next day.

Alexa and her friends

We let Alexa borrow our camera to take a few pictures of friends. Her friend Natasha took this picture of Alexa in her apartment. The top picture are her good friends Marina and Inna.

What we've learned after 10 days in Ukraine

• Everyone avoids eye contact on the street
• High heeled spikey shoes are a must for women in any weather conditions
• We've acquired the desire for McDonald's hamburgers again!
• Avoid elevators if you can help it. Stuck in one for a while...
• Learned to point and several hand motions to order food
• Wear comfortable walking shoes because you walk everywhere
• Stay inside after dark, especially on weekends
• Milk comes in plastic bags here instead of cartons
• Calls to the US from cell phones here are expensive!
• The weather is very similar to Seattle with overcast skies and rain most days
• Clothes fashions are very important here, lots of bling
• It's fun when you run into someone who speaks English :)

Sumy Court Date

Today is Thursday September 18th here in Sumy. This afternoon is our court date with the local authorities with the goal of receiving an "official" approval for the adoption of Alexa. Once that happens there is a mandatory 10 day waiting period for any appeals of family members to protest the adoption. It's really more of a formality since she does not have any family members to respond. We have decided to stay on a few more days and then head back home Monday during the waiting period. Janet will stay home and I will return on September 30th to complete the process in Kiev. We've been told there are a few final items to complete the adoption such as obtaining a visa, passport, a final medical examination, and her original birth certificate. Once all of this has been gathered we are free to take her home! Right now I'm expecting this to all happen and I'll return with Alexa on Sunday October 5th.

Sumy Boarding School for Orphans

These are pictures of Alexa's classroom and the room she slept in while staying at the orphanage. She shared this room with a good friend named Ira who was aodpted by a family in Utah last year. Her new American name is Alisha. Alexa is very excited to see her friend when she arrives in Utah in early October.

Alexander - Sumy Orphanage Teacher

We visited the Sumy Orphanage today where Alexa spent 8 years going to school. This is a picture of her teacher Alexander. He spent the entire 8 years with Alexa while she moved from 1st to 9th grade. Her graduating class was approx. 15 students. Alexander has been teaching at the orphanage for 30 years!

This is a short video of Alexa speaking to me in Russian. I wanted to have you hear her voice. She actually speaks Russian, Ukrainian, French, and a little English! She knows French from visiting France on 5 occasions during the summer break in school. It's common here to send orphan children to other European countries for 2-3 months each summer to live with "host" families to have an experience outside Ukraine. She has pointed to a city in the north of France that she has visited 5 times with the same family. It's also typical for families in Europe to not have any interest in adoption but to always welcome children to visit their homes for short periods of time.

Alexa is trying to learn several words in English while we are here to help communicate better. I can guarantee you her English is better than my Russian :)

Ira and Igor

On Monday we met with Ira (pronounced ee ra) and her husband Igor (pronounced ee gor) Ira is Vika's (Alexa's) half sister and only known relative in this country. Vika's parents are both deceased and she has no aunts, uncles or grandparents. We wanted to spend some time with Ira to learn more about her little half sister Alexa. Ira is a computer science and physics teacher for 11th graders in a small village about 20 miles outside Sumy. Igor is a taxi driver here in the city.

Ira has the same mother but a different father than Alexa. She only spent a few days a month with Alexa growing up because Vika was sent to the orphanage at approx. age 8. Ira described the situation that she and her grandmother were the people who rasied Alexa until she was sent to the orphanage. Her father died long ago of an unknown cause and her mother was found unfit and eventually died of what sounds like alcohol poisoning about 4 years ago.

We asked if we could see any pictures of Alexa growing up at home but Ira said there are only a couple. Most of Vika's pictures were thrown away by her mother! That was sad news to hear. We do know there are several pictures taken of Vika growing up in the orphanage that we are going to take to a local store to have them scanned and put on a CD to take home. We are going to do our best to preserve what memories exist of her first 16 years of life.

Ira wanted to know if she would ever see Alexa again after we take her home. That was difficult to answer but we helped her understand that we have traveled quite a bit and that it's quite likely Alexa would have an opportunity to return in the future if she chose to do that. Ira was happy that Alexa had found a family and a new home in America. There is no future here for Alexa and Ira is happy that her sister will have a better future.

Our Apartment in Sumy

We live on the 8th floor of an apartment complex here in Sumy, a city of approx. 400,000 people. Most everyone lives in apartments which appear to be fairly old and run down. It's actually nicer inside than out. These pictures show the front and back of our complex. There are small shops that line the front of the building selling baby clothes, flowers, cell phones, a casino, liquor store and a few other small shops. We pay $75 per night that we split with another couple here adopting a little boy from the orphanage. So for $37.50 per night we are not complaining :) We have a bedroom, kitchen and a hot shower each day! We also have a washer but no dryer. Everyone here washes clothes and then hangs them out on a line to dry.

Ping Pong

Alexa is actually quite good at ping pong!

All the Girls!

Sumy Marketplace

We visited the central marketplace in Sumy to see what we could find. Alexa and her friend Natasha found matching watches that we bought for them. It was packed with people on Saturday afternoon.

Happy 16th Birthday Alexa!

September 14th was Alexa's 16th birthday. After going to church that morning we came back to our apartment and celebrated with the Neil and Carolyn Milne who are adopting Artyom (Artem) and our tanslators Natasha and Tanya.

Alexa blew out 16 candles on a birthday cake and opened a few presents which was lots of fun. I'm sure it's the biggest celebration she's ever had. I handed my video camera to Alexa and her two friends and showed them how to video tape each other. We then left the room and let them have some fun for a little while. This was a good idea because they immediately opened up and started talking, singing, and doing things they would never do with us in the room. I'm not sure they've seen themselves on a video camera before. They laughed and laughed when I played it back for them.

Alexa Victoria Heiner

We talked with Vika a few days ago about the option of getting a new name in America. We left it open to her to chose a name that she liked or to keep her first name as Victoria and we could either call her Vika or Tori.

Her full name today is Victoria Yurivna Dechterova. Girls middle names in Ukraine are a form of their fathers name. Her father was named Yuri and Yurivna means "daughter of Yuri" That's obviously a tough name to use at home! :) Janet told me that she was interested in calling her Lexi if she came back to us without any particular preference but we didn't say anything to her about our interest in the name Lexi.

An amazing thing happened! We met with her the next day and had the discussion about her name again. She came to us with the name "Alexa" which is another form of Lexi. We are excited once again that things seem to be coming together in such a unique way. Her new official full name will be Alexa Victoria Heiner.

Sumy Baptism

On Saturday morning we attended a baptism of a new member of the Sumy Branch. He is a 23 year old young man named Sergey. The baptism service was actually held at a river a few miles from the downtown area. It was COLD! Not sure the temperature but you could see your breath and there was a constant breeze blowing to keep things cold. There is a local gentleman who is very friendly with the Elders who owns a bus. He offered a free ride for everyone to go to and from the baptism. There were about 20 of us who attended the service. This was the first convert baptism in the area in some time so the Branch members were very excited.

Todd, Janet and Tanya Bondarenko (our talented interpreter)

We get around Sumy on a taxi/bus that runs on a specific route around the city. It's an efficient way to quickly get around at a reasonable price. It costs about 30 cents to go one way for rides as long as 45 minutes.

In front of St. Andrews Cathederal in Kiev next to SDA office

View from our Sumy apartment on the 8th floor

Todd, Natasha, Vika, and Janet after getting approval from the School Director

Overlooking Kiev (5 million poeple)

Sumy Orphanage building where the kids sleep

Our kitchen dining table in our apartment shared with the Milnes

A day on the road!

Today was busy from start to finish! We left Sumy at 3:30 am this morning and rode in a taxi to Kiev for our SDA appointment. The drive was nearly 4 hours in the dark while avoiding people on bicycles, broken down cars on tne side of the road and thick fog in many areas. I thought we might sleep during the trip but that was not an option with all the distractions and the typical bumpy ride along the winding roads.

Our SDA appointment was at 9 am this morning. We met up with Vladimir and Natasha in Kiev to help us with translation. The interview was approx. 20 minutes with a young lady who looked no more than 20 years old! She was pleasant and wanted to hear about our family at home. We showed her pictures and told her about the activities and schooling that everyone is currently involved in. They approved us to proceed with the adoption process. The next step was to immediately visit the US Embassy and fill out the required paperwork and get signatures on their paperwork before Vika turns 16 this coming Sunday. We feel very fortunate to have all of the right things fall into place to allow us to adopt Vika who really wants a family.

Immediately after leaving the US Embassy with the right papers in place we headed right back to Sumy again on that wonderful 4 hour journey. The way home in the day time had it's own unique challenges. This time we faced chickens, goats, cows, people on bikes, geese crossing the road, slow trucks and an assortment of other roadblocks. Vladimir likes to get places in a hurry so we just closed our eyes and prayed a lot :)

As soon as we arrived back in Sumy we picked up some more paperwork from the Sumy orphanage, picked up a social worker and headed to meet the Director of the school Vika is currently attending. Vika was there waiting for us to arrive and quickly gave us both a big hug and smile. She is so cute. She introduced us to her best friend Natasha (a popular name here in Ukraine) There are 800 students in this school they call a "college". It appears to be the same ages as our high schools at home. They specialize in the sciences at this school. Children are required to leave the orphanage at 16 and they have the option to move on to this advanced school if they choose. People were gathering for nearly an hour waiting for the Director to arrive. It was a little intimidating to have 10+ people talking in Ukrainian and not knowing what they are saying. It seemed as though something was wrong with our paperwork for a while but he finally showed up.

We sat around a table while he asked questions about why we wanted to adopt Vika and what our plans were for her education back in Utah. He didn't smile that often until I believe he understood our intentions and desire to give Vika the opportunity to enjoy a family like she will never have the opportunity here. He finally smiled "a little" and shook our hands and wished us well. Vika was very happy. The Director and others told us what a good girl she was and they wanted us to make sure she keeps in contact with the school through letters and email.

We ended the day by taking Vika, Natasha (our interpreter) and Natasha (Vika's friend) out to pizza tonight. We continue to learn more about Vika and her interests. We are already worried about the first time we are left without an interpreter :) There will be lots of smiles, pointing and waving our hands around to help communicate.

We're tired tonight after what I could only describe as taking two 4 hour "flights" in rough turbulance to and from Kiev. We didn't realize there was so much on the agenda today but we're happy to be through it with such great progress.

We were talking tonight about how fortunate we feel to have everything falling into place with the timing to allow us the opportunity to adopt Vika. The reality is she would not be eligible for adoption in 3 more days when she turns 16. The paperwork has to be started or there is no option to complete the process. The fact that we had one "extra" day based on flight plans we made several months ago that allowed us the chance to meet her in Sumy before our SDA appointment in Kiev today. It's been a whirlwind of activity and changes and we feel blessed to have ended up with such a sweet girl.

The next step is getting a court date here in Sumy. Vladimir believes that will be sometime late next week. Once that occurs, there is a 10 day standard waiting period until a "final" approval is given for the adoption. We then take a day or two in Kiev to complete the passport, visa and medical checks in order to travel back to the U.S.

More to come...

We're finally here! Our flight to Kiev arrived Tuesday morning at 9 am. We were picked up at the airport by Vladimir and Natasha and drove to Sumy which is about 3 ½ hours from Kiev

We met Vika (Victoria) at the local McDonalds because she's not in the orphanage anymore due to her age. Vladimir arranged to have her meet us there so we could get a chance to meet and talk. We had lunch together and then walked through Sumy city with Natasha our translator. We ran into the missionaries who were from Boise and Portland which was very fun for them and for us.

We asked Vika several questions about her background. We had a great time getting to know each other. She is a sweet girl who turns 16 on September 14th which is this coming Sunday! She currently lives here in Sumy with her 23 year old married sister and her husband

She has no other siblings, aunts, uncles or grandparents. Vika is in school and enjoys Chemistry of all subjects! She appears to be very bright. Her parents have both died and she's been in the Sumy orphanage the past 4 years. Her parents were divorced for many years prior to her mothers death and has no recollection of her father.

She really wants a family and expressed this during our visit together. We felt a bond with Vika from the beginning, she is so cute, a little shy but a warm and sweet personality. We must start the paperwork for her adoption before her 16th birthday or she will not be eligible for adoption. We are planning to drive back to Kiev early Thursday morning for our appointment with the State Department for Adoption (SDA).

We're headed to the Sumy Orphanage this afternoon along with a couple families who are here moving through the adoption process at the same time. We'll send an update again after we return from Kiev.

Almost time to go!

It's Saturday night September 6th and we're almost done packing our bags for the trip! We're exciting and a bit nervous at the same time. We believe everything is ready and in order to arrive in Kiev around 9 am on Tuesday morning to begin the process of finding a child for adoption. We leave Monday morning at 8:30 am and fly Delta through JFK in NYC and catch a conection to Kiev. It will be approximatley 15 hours of flying to get there which does not sound too exciting!

We appreciate all of our family and friends who have expressed support and interest in our decision to adopt in Ukraine. We'll do our best to keep this blog updated with pictures and messages about our experiences and progress while in Ukraine.